I have exciting news…. I have finished ALL my exams! wahooooo. I had my last one today. German. And i am not going to say it was really easy because i feel like if i do that then i will jinx it and get a rubbish mark. So i am just going to say that i think it went well 🙂 And now, i don’t have to work until september! I am still not exactly sure what i am going to be doing yet but i know i am deffinately going to college 🙂 To have a fresh start and to get away from all my bad memories in school.
So now i have about two empty months on holiday and i have not a clue what i am going to spend my days doing. My sister is going on holiday with her friends to Zante soon and my other sister will be spending most the time with her boyfriend so my mum asked me if i wanted to go on holiday just me her and my dad. The thing is though, I don’t really want to I mean, it might be a good think to get away from home for a while but i woulden’t feel comfortable. Mainly with the food situation. I am quite a structured person when it comes to meals. I have pretty much the same thing to eat everyday and i have to have them at the exact time otherwise i get really anxious. It’s not really a problem to other people when we are at home but it will be if we are on holiday and we have to do everything together food related. Also i have a terrible time eating with or infront of people. I can only eat infront of my mum because when i first started to eat more, she would always sit with me for every meal. I diden’t like it, and i still don’t like it now but i guess i have just got used to it. If anyone else comes in the kitchen while i am eating i will just stop of go somewhere else.
The other reason why i am so nervous about being away from home is because last year when we went on holiday i was quite ill. I wasen’t underweight but my family knew i had an issue with purging and i got so anxious that we wernet eating at the right times and we went out to restaurants quite alot which made me anxious. I burst into tears on more than one occasion when we where having a meal because i just wasen’t used to having different types of food because at home i literally had the same thing everyday except for my dinner changed. I just felt like i ruined it for everyone and my sister got really angry at me. She wasen’t really educated back then though. She knows alot more now. But i don’t think i am ready to go on holiday because i want to enjoy it and i don’t think i will
But i think my mum is going to take lots of time off work so she said she will do lots with me so that made me feel better 🙂
What are you doing in the summer holidays? Going anywhere nice? 🙂