Butterbean stew recipe

Hello everyone,
I haven’t posted a recipe or anything for quite a long time. I asked a few people on Instagram if they would like me to start posting recipes again and I got such positive feedback that people would love to see recipes. I dip in and out of blogging ever such a lot but I really enjoy it. I enjoy having the space to share anything my heart desires. So, as with all of my other recipes I have shared I thought I would post them on this blog. This particular one I am going to share today was actually requested and I didn’t really know what you would want me to share so I thought I would kick off with this one.

Butterbean stew:

Butterbean stew

Ingredients:
400g can chopped tomatoes
1 can of butterbeans in water, drained and rinsed
1 small onion, diced
1 carrot, diced
1 red pepper, chopped
1 courgette, chopped
1tsp each of cumin, coriander and garam masala

What to do:
1. Heat a little oil in a saucepan and add in the onion, carrot, pepper and courgette and cook for five minutes
2. Add the butterbeans, chopped tomatoes, cumin, coriander and garam masala and simmer for 15 minutes. You may need to simmer for longer depending on how crunchy or soft you like your vegetables to be
3. Serve with whatever you would like and most importantly enjoy! 🙂

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Recipe- Mushrooms and chickpeas with apricot couscous

Hello!

Today I have decided to share with you a recipe because on my Instagram I always have quite a few people saying they would love to know the recipes for the things that I cook and bake. So I thought I would start off with a pretty basic recipe. Pretty much all of the ingredients are ones that you would already have in your house so it’s always good to be able to make something and not having to rush and and buy something last minute and also this recipe is so quick and that’s exactly what you need sometimes. I do love cooking but I don’t like to be in the kitchen for hours after a long, busy day!

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Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1tsp olive oil
  • 1/2tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1tsp ground cumin
  • 300g mushrooms, quartered
  • 400g can chopped tomatoes
  • 400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
  • 1tsp clear honey OR 1tsp agave nectar
  1. Fry the onion in the oil for 6 minutes until softened. Add the cinnamon and cumin and cook for one minute, stirring. Add the mushrooms and cook for 2 minutes then stir in the tomatoes, chickpeas and honey/agave. Simmer for 7-8 minutes.
  2. To make the couscous I use 50g per person and 2-3 depending on how big they are dried apricots per person. Chop up the apricots into really small pieces and then put in a bowl along with the couscous. Pour over boiling water from the kettle until it has just covered the couscous and then cover with a plate and leave for five minutes. When the couscous is cooked fluff up the grains and serve with the mushrooms.

Enjoy!

Busy Sunday

Hello,
So today so far has been quite busy, this morning I finished my nanas birthday card and then I went out to buy some comfortable walking shoes as my feet keep getting sore when I take my dogs out. I mentioned earlier that I like card making although I wouldn’t say I am very good at it and i am still practicing. so here is the birthday card I made:

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And then after that I went and bought a set of three storage draws as I was really running out of space to put all of my craft things.

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There it is and also I put in a sneak preview of one of my draws 😛 Does anyone else like arts and crafts and things like that? I hope you are all having a lovely afternoon.

To new beginnings

Hello,
I have decided to start up my blog again as I stopped posting for a long long time. I have decided that it will be a bit like last time, I will just talk a bit about my recovery and also I will post some recipes because one thing you should know about me is that I just LOVE to cook and bake!
So, to those new readers and to everyone actually I thought I would do a little introductory post. I won’t say my name just yet for privacy reasons but I am 19, I love cooking and baking as I mentioned earlier, I also love horse riding and I love doing little crafty projects like making cards and bracelets and little things like that.
I am in recovery from anorexia and I have been in recovery for four years now. Since I last posted a lot has happened but I shall just give you a quick overview. Everything was going really well at one point, I was at a good stable weight and I was going to college, going to party’s, had such lovely friends. But then around Christmas time 2014 I started to relapse but I didn’t listen to anyone saying it was my eating disorder in control, I didn’t think I was ill again of course because that is what anorexia does to you. It clouds your judgement and it makes your world so tiny that you have no one but each other. Eventually things took a turn for the worse and I was admitted to an adult psychiatric ward in February 2015. Luckily they don’t like keeping the patients there for months at a time. They like to get them better as soon as is possible and then have them recover at home in the community. There was a time when I was going to be transferred to a specialised eating disorder unit which is miles away from where I live and I would have had to have stayed there for 4-6 months but luckily I complied with my meal plan eventually and then I only had to stay in hospital for 5 and a half weeks.
I have been out of hospital for roughly two months now and things are really going well. I still have bad days of course because recovery isn’t all about the ups, it is about the downs as well. But the main thing is that I am plodding along and I have absolutely no desire to go back into hospital which is why I shall be sticking to my meal plan in the long future. This was just a short update post to say hello. And I might even put another post up later today. If you have any questions feel free to ask me, goodbye for now 🙂 

Meal plan.

I feel the need to document this because I feel like the fattest person ever to have come on this earth. So here goes.

Breakfast: 40g porridge oats with 120ml of soy milk and a tsp of honey, grapes.

Snack: Soreen banana lunchbox loaf.

Lunch: 50g couscous with 1/2 jar of chargrilled vegetable sauce and 70g quorn chicken pieces.

Snack: Large banana.

Dinner: Two slices wholemeal toast spread with 2tbsp peanut butter, nectarine and raspberry yogurt.

Snack: Graze black pepper popcorn.

And I was going to have more to get me to at least near my calories but this popcorn has outdone me. There was literally SO much of it and I seriously don’t think I can fit another thing in me. What the hell is wrong with me? Im horrible 😥

Long rambly update. Please don’t read if you are triggered by depression thoughts.

Hey everyone.

Ok, I would just like to say I am SO sorry I haven’t posted in ages and I really hope it’s ok that I took a little break. I didn’t mean to just dissappear off the face of the earth, that’s just kind of the way it turned out so I am really sorry about that. I don’t really know what to say to be honest. I guess I will start with the non- complicated things.

I have been off college for about 5 weeks now and I have decided that I don’t want to go back there. I really did not enjoy the course there at all and the people there were just plain rude. Someone wrote on facebook about me that it is like they are talking to a brick wall when they talk to me and they are glad I won’t be there next year. Haha, that gave me such a boost of confidence. So, I have signed up for another course at a different college and this is an animal care course.

This is so complicated though my head hurts just thinking about it. The thing is, I absolutely love animals and I have always, always wanted to work with them. And now at this very moment in time I am consumed by my mental illness. Ever since I signed up for the animal course one minute I would want to go and then the next minute I just don’t want to do anything. Don’t want to live, breathe, feed myself, clothe myself or even have a shower. That’s kind of where I am at at the moment. I honestly feel like I have hit the absolute bottom.

Gosh, I have so much to say I feel like I am not making any sense :/ So, the other day, me and my dad had a massive argument about college how I don’t want to go and I would rather die than go. And I think that might be a lot of anxiety. Recently I have been so scared to even go out the house. I am scared that people will be staring at me and also that I will make a fool of myself. And I am terrified of starting a new college because I know I won’t make any friends at all. If you read through my posts this time last year, I was all positive about going to college but I was still very anxious. That positiveity did nothing for me. I couldn’t make friends because those people were just not like me and it is going to be exactly the same at this new college.

Moving on, I have had a lot of difficulties since when I last posted. In February, I quit seeing my therapist because I thought she wasen’t helping me anymore and I didn’t want her help anyway. I don’t really know what I was feeling back then to be honest. I don’t know if I wanted to recover or not. Anyway, I carried on seeing my phsycyatrist and I have also been having family therapy which has been useful but also quite hard. And then about two months ago my phsychyatrist left and now I have a new one. And I have seen this new one for about three sessions. He seems alright I guess but I don’t know. He asked me a very interesting question last week. He asked: do you want to recover? It was really odd because I tried to say yes but the word just woulden’t come out so I said I don’t know. Im still trying to work it out now but I am pretty sure I don’t want to recover. Not because I like being like this. I don’t actually know why. It’s absurd right?! Who actually wants to stay in this hell? Clearly me. Maybe that’s because I think I deserve it.

Since I haven’t seen my therapist since February, my phsychyatrist asked if we could set up some councelling sessions for me. Something I really do NOT want to do but my mum wants me to do it because I know she really, really wants me to get better. So, im on the list for councelling, im not sure when that will start but I am extremely nervous. One good thing has happened while all this has been going on though. I meantioned earlier that it’s been a struggle to get me out the house because I am so anxious. Socially anxious mostly but other things as well like being in small places, being too hot outside to wear long sleeves ect. Anyway, about a month ago, I signed up to do volunteer work at a charity. And I never thought that they would actually take me on but she did! And I have been there three times now every Wednesday morning and so far I have enjoyed it.

I will talk more about it tomorrow I think 🙂 (gosh so much to catch up on!!) I think I am going to go and get some sleep now, basically I just wanted to let you all know what has been happening and I hope everyone has been well. Ooh, I also got nominated for an award while I was away which was exciting! I will do a post about that but I don’t know how long it will be. I still have so much to say.

I hope everyone is well

Lots of love

Baking, birthdays, thoughts.

Hello

So this past week has been a mixture of good and bad really. Last Sunday it was my sisters birthday and I was in charge of the cake making 😛 I made her an apple and sultana cake and it turned out really well and very tasty. And then during the week I did lots of cooking and some more baking! I made Paul Hollywood’s recipe for bread and I had that with bean chilli that I also made.

It has been really great cooking and baking recently because I now let myself eat what I have made. Even better is when I am baking, I don’t let myself be persuaded by all these healthier baking recipes. So that is something I have been really enjoying recently.

The bad thing is that I have been feeling incredibly anxious and depressed when I find myself at a loss of what to do. I often find myself searching the internet for any recipes and I find ones I might like to cook but my head tells me no so that ends up with me searching for more recipes and then getting upset and frustrated with myself!

The two main things I have been worried about are going back to college and also my birthday. It was my birthday yesterday so that is all over now thankfully. And it didn’t turn out half as bad as I thought it was going to. I was mostly worried about people coming over to see me and also about getting presents. I do feel bad because I feel like I don’t deserve to have all these nice things because it is my fault for having depression/anxiety and my fault for having anorexia.

I did enjoy the baking part of course 😛 I made myself some fairy cakes and then I put icing and smarties on the top 🙂 I forgot to take a picture but I assure you they looked good and tasted even better.

Well so far today has been disastrous but I think I will maybe write about that in another post. Before I go, I just wanted to say sorry for not replying to all your comments. I read each and every one of them and I appreciate you writing back to me so much.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day