It’s finally Friday!

Hello,

I am so exhausted so I am looking forward to the weekend. Which is so weird me saying that because I am on my Easter holidays so I am not doing that much anyway. But I guess weekends are a change of routine so there is bound to be a change in atmosphere. Also it is my sisters birthday on Sunday so I am looking forward to making her a cake.

Todays breakfast:

Porridge topped with brown sugar.

Porridge made with milk and sprinkled with dark brown sugar. This was absolute heaven! And this was my first time trying Quaker oats (not the instant) and I really loved them. They had a much smoother texture to the ones I normally use and I made the consistency perfect first time around. I always have trouble with making my porridge too thick. I hate thick porridge so I think these oats are definitely a keeper.

After breakfast I had a 9:00 family therapist appointment. I have only ever been with my parents before so I was really anxious when I found out both my sisters were coming along as well. My mum kept saying “well it is family therapy” but it just all sounds a bit too scary for me. I don’t exactly get on that well with one of my sisters and I thought she was going to say some horrible things. She did say some things that I didn’t like but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Overall the session went okay and I have agreed for the whole family to come to the next session as well. I feel like that was a positive step which I have taken today and I am quite proud of myself. I have not been feeling as down today as I have recently so I am really happy about that. I know though that the depression will come back in full force tomorrow or tonight. I hate to be so negative but that has always been the way.

When I came home I just relaxed and watched some television. I then fixed myself up the most perfect lunch:

Cottage cheese and avocado wrap. 

This is a Mediterranean herb wrap filled with cottage cheese and half an avocado. I have been loving cottage cheese recently! I used to eat it and I forgot how good it tasted. And then I re-found my love for it because I realised that I probably wasn’t getting enough protein in and this stuff is absolutely amazing for protein!

After lunch I played with my bunny:

Rory 7. 

I forgot to tell you all but Rory is a fairly new bunny. I got him in February just before I went on holiday Smile with tongue out I saw him in the pet shop and it was love at first sight haha. I wanted him sooo badly but my mum said I wasn’t allowed him until we came back from holiday. I knew there was a 90% chance he would be gone by then so me and my sister devised a plan that she would care for him and take him out for exercise etc. while I was away. We told my mum and it worked, she let me have him! He is only about 15-16 weeks old so he is still only a baby but he is absolutely adorable. He comes to his name now and everything. Smile with tongue out

So that’s my day really. I haven’t really done much at all but then again I haven’t really been doing anything this week. I don’t feel so bad about it know though. Well I am trying not to feel guilty.

I hope everyone has a good weekend Smile

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First family therapy session and help me with anti depressants.

Hi

My day today has been totally rubbish. I have been a poorly pig practically all day! I had a nice long sleep till 10:30 and I woke up with a mild stomach ache. I thought it would be fine and it would just go soon. Hell was I wrong. I went downstairs to get breakfast and I was in absolute agony. Then after my breakfast of weetabix and painkillers I took myself upstairs and started to run a bath. I thought I would be okay after I had a bath but I was still awful so I lay in bed. And I didn’t get out of bed till 2:00. Result. My dogs were so cute though. They could tell I wasen’t feeling good and they both took it in turns to lie on the end of my bed. And then when no-one was in the house and I was left on my own, they both lay on the end of my bed together. What sweeties they are.

This was my lunch today:

Honey and parsnip soup with a slice of wholemeal bread.

Honey and parsnip soup with a slice of wholemeal bread.

It was absolutely yummy! Seasonal soup to get me in the Christmas spirit. And then after lunch, I had my first ever family therapy appointment. My mum came along as well and to be honest, we didn’t really know what to expect. I am glad to say though, that it actually went quite well! At the end of the session she said that she thought I had done amazingly well with all the talking. And I was quite happy that I managed to talk quite a bit. Mainly we just spoke about family relationships and we also spoke about the anxiety in the family. Like how anxiety affects the whole family and how people react about my illness and stuff like that. I think I felt a lot more relaxed than I do in a normal therapy session because it wasen’t all food related.

Also, last Tuesday my phschiatrist said he would give the family therapist information about the anti depressant he had picked out for me to take. So I got that today as well. I have had a little look and he has given me a choice of two. The first one is Mirtazapine which is especially good for sleep problems the leaflet says and then the second one is Sertraline which is good for anxiety.

Now, anyone who is reading this who has taken any of these medications I would really like some feedback. Did they work? Did they not work? Were they helpfull? Were the side effects strong? I have sort of decided that I don’t want to take Mirtazapine. This is because one of the side effects is increased appetite which causes weight gain. When I read this I did get a bit freaked out. So for anyone who has been on Mirtzapine particulaly, please tell me your opinions.