Firstly I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone that follows me. I noticed yesterday when I logged on that I have reached 100 followers which is pretty incredible actually considering I feel like I just go on and on and don’t make any sense at all. I never ever thought that anyone would actually be interested in the highs and lows of my life. And I just want to say, if you are new to reading my posts then I am not always in a down mood. It just varies and I would like to talk about my sad days as well as my happy days so I hope that’s ok.
Well today hasn’t been SO bad. I woke up this morning, had breakfast as usual and then that’s when I started to feel sick with worry. Then I took a shower and most of the morning I was just trying to keep busy really. I had the charity shop in the afternoon and I have only been there four times so I was mostly worried about that because I knew today would be different than what I am used to so far. My manager is away for the next two weeks so I said I would do the afternoon shifts on Monday and Thursday while she is away. Firstly that worried me because I have only done morning shifts before so I am used to that and I didn’t know what to expect in the afternoon. Like would it be busy, do I still get a break like I do in the mornings, it’s half an hour shorter than in the mornings so will I get everything done on time?
And then my next worry of course was that my manager is away so she asked her son to do her job and I was so anxious because I didn’t know what he was going to be like and I was scared of asking so many questions as I haven’t been there much before. And also, I was working with different people than usual so that’s three new people today and I find it hard to interact with people so that was a pretty scary thing for me. And then my last worry was that I didn’t know what I would be doing. Like if I was on the till then I thought I would definitely mess that all up because I have only been on the till once before and that was when I had been there a few times so I was confident to ask my manager when I did make a mistake.
All these worries… Looking at it now there is hell of a lot. But maybe it’s a good thing to write all this down. I arrived to work on time and when I walked in, there were two people there and I know the obvious thing to do is to tell them my name but now sound came out and I probably looked stupid. In the end it was okay I guess because they were expecting me. The first challenge: The manager. There were two huge boxes of saucepans that we had to sort out and I have never really priced that sort of thing before so I asked him if he knew what I should price them as and he said don’t do it yet because they are gift aided. So I was just standing there for five minutes left on my own while the others were out at the front. And then he said oh just price them normally and don’t bother about gift aid. I was too scared to ask him about what price so I just started sticking the labels on and then I asked someone else and she said to me you just have to guess. She didn’t really give me any clue so I assumed she had no idea just like me.
And then about half an hour after I had arrived someone else came in and from there it got better. She helped me with the pricing and we were chatting to each other a lot and she was just really lovely. She was telling me about all the dogs she has had haha because I said how much I love animals. And now on Thursday is when I have my next shift. And guess what? I am just as anxious about exactly the same reasons because it’s going to be two more different people! I am so not used to meeting so many new people.
The reason why I wanted to do this though was to build my confidence up because I don’t really have any at all at the moment. So far, I am still worried every time I go but I am hoping that just might die down soon. I will have to keep going on a regular basis and then I shall see. And this is the first week that I will be going in twice so that’s also a big challenge for me. An achievable one I hope.
I hope everyone has had a good day today